Just karaoke?

i was singing karaoke with Tai's family a couple nights ago. what's the big deal right? i mean everyone sings karaoke from time to time. the big difference is that i finally felt comfortable. i didn't get the feeling that my face was getting flushed, or feel sweat coming on. my voice wasn't shaky, and i didn't stutter at all. i was actually comfortable, which is a really big deal in my case. i have always been nervous in front of crowds, even around my own family. i was shocked, and proud of myself.

after i had sung all of those songs, i just had an overwhelming feeling of joy. holding that mic in my hand, and hearing my voice amplify on the speakers was such a rush. i wish i could sing all day.

i'm considering showcasing my voice to a larger crowd. I dunno...maybe a karaoke bar, or this amature show that i've been getting emails about. then maybe wedding singing...then maybe i'll have the courage to audition for american idol someday. all i know is to me singing=happiness.

Damn BITCH!

i cannot believe our luck with tenants!

we've been robbed, and i can hardly believe it! She stole our fridge, and our washer and dryer. we went to the condo on Tuesday and found that she moved out (which was great), but had left with all of my appliances.

it would be so easy to blame this on Tai. i mean he didn't run a credit check, or even get a rental application from her. i shouldn't have trusted him to take care of it. but what's done is done. there's nothing that i can do, and blaming Tai won't get my stuff back.

i filed a police report that day with all of the information that i had, which was very little. i tried to be as thorough as possible.

what's funny to me is that her husband called Tai telling him that he couldn't get into the condo. and Tai told her what was going on. he told him that she had moved and stole our appliances. he was shocked. he said that he just got back from Australia. they got to talking and he explained that they were going through a divorce, and that he had just found out that she had stole $7000 from him. so he was really upset too, and said that he was behind us in whatever we were gonna do to try to persecute her. he called Tai later that day to give him her social security number and her driver license number. finally, some useful information.

now i'm just wondering whether i should file another supplement report or if i should just wait a couple days to actual to a detective that's assigned to the case to give them this new information i have, plus give them pictures of her that i found at the condo.

i hope she gets everything coming to her.

i'm hoping that everything goes well this next tenant.

Valentine's Reflection

Well... Valentine's Day started off a little rough. Me and tai argued last night, well more like he yelled and i got up and left coz i got so pissed. i mean, what he was yelling about was so un-called for coz i was at school. then when i got home we got ready to go eat out for dinner, so it's not like i had time at all to clean his damn kitchen!

So we didn't talk all night and just went strait to bed. we didn't talk all yesterday either. i was pretty crabby all day at work coz of all of this. it may have looked like i was upset coz tai didn't get me anything for valentine's but that wasn't the issue at all. that's not what started it anyways.

I know he doesn't think that Valentine's is a real holiday, but i would be nice if he acknowledged that it would be a great day to show some love and appreciation. To me, it' s not about the gifts. I could really care less about him spending money. He could even just write me a sweet note on a peice of binder paper and i would be happy.

I thought that maybe when he got home from work that he would apologize to me for yelling at me, but still it was mums the word.

I fed Stailynne and played with her. Then i put her to sleep. I wasn't feeling too good so i showered and went to bed. Me and tai still weren't talking.

So it was the start of a new day (Friday), and i was about to just brush Valentine's day under the rug, but when i went to my car to head to work i saw saw a treat on the passenger seat. There was a card, some chocolates in a heart-shaped box, and a gatorade.

i was running late so i didn't have time to read the card. i put it in my bag and read it at work. it got me a little teary. i know that tai has too much pride, and that apologizing with a card was a lot easier for him. the card just explained that he was sorry, that he was an asshole, and that he still thinks about the first day we met...hence the gatorade (i might blog about that later). He said that he loves me more than anything. Plus he said that he'll try to be more understanding about the house. It was very heartfelt, so it's really hard to still be mad at him.

Maybe we should just let it go...

I'm so stressed and fed up with all the hardships that condo is giving us. To make things really worse that damn tenant of ours isn't gonna go without a fight. i know we're gonna have to go to court. it's always on my mind, which i know is bad. there are so many more important things i need to be worrying about, like Stailynne...and school. i honestly blame tai for all of this. i blame him for being too leniant with that bitch! and letting her move in without cashing her check or getting all the money up front. and for not running a background check or rental application. now we're in this mess. This will be the last time he takes care of anything!

i just want her out of there!

i really am thinking hard about just letting that property forclose after me and tai purchase my mom's house. i don't know if we can do this any more, financially i mean. i haven't discussed this with tai yet. i really don't know what he's gonna say because credit has become important to him these last few years. but if we have our house, and my credit is still good, he doesn't need credit. i think this is the only way we're going to survive.

i'm so sad right now.

16 Months

Today's she's 16 months old! i can't believe that the time flew by so quickly. i can remember like yesterday i was just bringing her home from the hospital, and now she's a big girl. she run's all over the house, talks up a storm, screams her lungs out, and just drives me nuts most of time. but i just love to play with her.

Today i had school, but i dressed her up all cute before i dropped her off with my mother-in-law. She cried when i left her which is always nice, to me anyways, coz i know that she loves me and she doesn't want to leave me. it's just reassuring.

She was a pretty good girl today. She ate what i fed her, which is always good coz she just loves to spit her food out, and just minimal crying.

I can't wait for her next month.