Why can't i help but feel like my life derailed somewhere? Looking back to high school, i have to say that i never imagined my life was gonna be like this. I know people say that it's not good to live with regrets, but to tell you the truth i do have a few on my list.
I should have...
*been more active while i was in high school
*went to a four-year university somewhere far away from sacramento
*started my career before i decided to get married and have a kid
*seen the signs that this marriage was going to be anything but a walk in the park
*focused more on myself rather than always worrying about being alone.
Though i love my daughter more than life itself, and i love my husband most of the time, life hasn't been easy these past 8 years. Getting into nursing school is one of the best things that has happened to me. I know that i'm gonna need a lot of help, but i stand unsure how much of that help will come from my husband.
We've gone through so many up's and down's but at this point i still can't see tai really changing in the near future. i don't know how much more time i have to give him until he sees that i was the best thing that ever happened to him. Not to sound arrogant, but i know that if he hadn't met me that he would probably be in prison right now. But he is yet to give me the importance that i'm looking for. Maybe it's just not in the cards for me....
But what's done is done. All there is left for me to do is to work my butt off in nursing school so that I'll be able to provide for my daughter in the future. Right now i can't say that i'm 100% sure that tai's gonna be by my side. i'm hoping he'll actually change instead of just talking about it. I know what you must be thinking. All i do is hope right? If i had a dollar for everytime i hoped then i would be a rich lady right now. But hope is all that is left.
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