A couple weeks ago I finished my 3rd and toughest semester thus far. I’m glad to say that I’ve gotten a handle on the critical thinking questions on the exams luckily, but clinicals are getting tougher and tougher.
I went up to 3 patients this semester, and had a very thorough but humble clinical professor. I have to admit that I did crack under all the stress this semester. Though I would have liked it not to be in front of my professor, it was a relief to let it all out, and to know that my instructor didn't think I was a total idiot. I realized that I am extremely hard on myself, and I have to learn to get past certain things and move on. I have to learn to forgive myself.
My clinical instructor made a comment during my final review that made me feel so good. She said that she doesn't even see that nervous and shaky girl she saw during skills lab early in the semester. Like night and day she said. I'm a lot more confident when I'm interacting with my patients. I still have times of uncertainty just like any other student out there, but definitely an improvement from my first week of med/surg.
This was a rocky semester no doubt. I'm just glad that I got through it all, and that graduation is only months away. I'm grateful to be in my program, and to be going on to 4th semester.
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Winter break has been amazing so far. I've been able to spend time with my family, cook, clean, scrapbook...all the things I've been putting on the back burner for months. It feels good to wake up stress-free, but then I start thinking about my first ATI exam two weeks after the start of the semester! Yes I'm a hopeless worry-wort. It's something I'm working on. I just have to keep reminding myself that I need and deserve this break. I'm going to need it if I'm going to mentally prepare myself for the semester to come.
To end on a happy note, Kaiser has a new grad program starting in the fall of 2011. I'm so happy about that because the job market is horrible right now. So many job posting I've seen specifically say "NO NEW GRADS PLEASE." It's great that Kaiser realizes that we are the future of healthcare, and that it would be better to mentor us and make us better nurses rather than just closing the door in our faces. I'm hopeful to be getting one of the 15 spots available in this program after I graduate.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
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