When is is too late?

i've a lot of time to think today, and i've come to a conclusion that it's very unlikely he will ever change. he doesn't have the first clue what it means to be married and to be a father. he still wants to come and go as he pleases, while i'm the one home with our daughter.

i don't get why he wouldn't want to spend time with her anyways. i always have a blast playing with her.

i'll wait it out until our marriage counseling sessions and see what happens. i'm starting to lose faith in our marriage coz i'm the only one that ones to make it better. he isn't doing much to contribute. u would think after our huge blowup just a couple of weeks ago that that would have sent him on the right path, but nothing has changed. am i just kidding myself? am i just hoping for nothing? will he ever change??? i'm starting to really think it's too late for him and that i should get out now while we have no huge financial burdens holding us together.

not getting that house was a blessing in disguise. whenever we fought before, leaving was always in the back of my mind, but since we had a house to pay for, and so many people relying on us to stay together, i was always too scared.

i'm not scared anymore, nor am i willing to be unhappy forever.

saving this marriage is now in his hands coz i think i've already done enough. if counseling doesn't help then i don't know what else to do. i guess that when we have to go our seperate ways.

if that happens of course i'll stay with my parents for a couple of years till i can get all of my debt paid off and get my credit back up. as far as child support...he's already exhibited that he's a crappy father...stailynne doesn't need that...and i don't need his money. i just want stailynne and i to have a quiet and happy life together. i don't want stailynne growing up seeing me cry.

although this isn't the life that i imagined for myself when i was growing up, i'm still thankful to have my beautiful daughter and my family here to help me when i need them.