Trapped

i would have never thought that i would ever ask anyone i loved to consider going to the armed forces, let alone my husband. i guess my desperation is starting to show.

Initially when tai told me that his sister's bf kenny called him and told him that he was interested in joining the navy, and said that tai should join too, i thought he was joking. But after talking to my sister-in-law, she told me all of the benefits. Some the benefits are free housing for your family on base, paying off student loans, and they help you purchase a home when you get out of the navy.

No matter how miserable i am living with my parents i honestly know that still cannot afford to be off on our own. This is the only way out for us at this point. It makes me sad that when I brought it up to Tai that all he could think about is me "straying" when he's off doing navy business (Tai wanted to go to the marines after high school). I've never given him any reason not to trust me. This is why i feel trapped. Not trapped by being married to him; more like trapped because of his unwillingness to get up and do something that's gonna change our lives for the better. I know the world is so much bigger than Sacramento, and I just don't want to be stuck living with my parents forever. I don't want to be asking for their help the rest of my life. With this bad economy i understand that everyone needs help. I just don't want their help any more.

Tai needs to open his eyes, and he must do it quickly coz his time is running out. He'll be 34 in June, which is only around the corner.